Torn Between Churches, But Not god(s)

There is only one God. Period.

I'm part Irish Catholic and part native american. I have other nationalities in my background too, though I don't know much about their history or bloodlines. To my ancestors, God is known as Jesus or The Great Spirit. As to what other names He goes by or is known by in other nations, or even if He is recognised by them at all, I could not say. I simply do not know; I had a crush on this good-looking fellow in my history classes, so I failed to pay attention.

I will say, though, that I did have one grandparent that assured everyone he was most proper and religious.  He was always finely dressed, wore expensive colognes, had perfect manners and yet never worked an honest day in his life! He even claimed to have royal blood! However, behind closed doors, when decent, hard working people outside our family had no idea what he was up to, he beat his wife, beat his children, did unspeakable despicable things which I'd not really wish to discuss nor mention further other than to say that he gained money by allowing others to do these things to me too.

That being said, I really cannot blame anyone if they know anyone like him, and concluded that religion is a bunch of hogwash!

However, I would like to caution folks that just because some individuals like this nasty grandfather of mine go to church and act all holy, that does not mean that God is not interested in your welfare! The fact is, He'd love to hear from you, no matter if you go to church or not. If you feel bashful to speak with Him, write Him a letter or even dedicate your journal to Him. He loves you! Oh, if you are shy, or don't know what to say, draw Him a picture! He loves those. They don't have to be like some fancy paintings on the ceilings of chapels in Italy either. Stick figures and funny faces will be just fine.

Also, remember, please: just because the majority of snooty people in one church refuse to open their hearts (or even their doors) to you, there might be a church not far from there that would welcome you.

So, even though I lay sobbing on the front lawn of the church of my ancestors this morning, in physical and spiritual agony, unloved and unwanted, I was hugged and welcomed warmly at another church about five miles from there this evening. Both churches have been informed by myself that I suffer from both mental and physical illness.

I believe, in both cases that God wanted me there though. So I went, to hear His Word preached excellently, and to be closer to Him. Both preacher and priests welcomed me warmly, I might add. (Gratefully too!)

Hey! This is copyrighted, but for now don't bother asking by whom, OK? When I'm ready, you'll be one of the first to know, if you are signed up with me.